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By Richard Gazowsky

It’s quite interesting to see how God handles His promotion process. I was, as the British would say, “Gob-smacked”, when I discovered that as I went through the process of following God, I ran into walls of humility. The only way to get past these walls is to humble yourself, and crawl through the “tiny eye of a needle”. Mind you, I am not complaining, I am making an observation that I hope prepares you for your up-and-coming Godsent promotions.

This has not always been the case. King Saul, before he was called by said title, was a cowboy in Israel caring for his father’s asses. This job in itself couldn’t give room for a strong ego. To top it off, Saul was head and shoulders above everybody in height and strength. He was quite a humble John Wayne around town. So God chose him for the most exhilarating promotion any man could have. Samuel, the prophet, met Saul when he was hunting for his father’s lost donkeys, (once again humbled; losing donkeys is not exactly like losing elegant cheetahs!), and anointed him to be king over all of Israel. Saul was definitely ready for the task. Within a couple of years he set up his throne, getting the elite young men of the country to join his army, and got quite comfortable with the crown on his head. (Of course, this included a few size adjustments as it grew.)

So now the young King Saul was ready for his first assignment from God. It was actually pretty simple, a no-brainer that Saul should “get”. God told him to go into the town of the Amalekites, who had been enemies of Israel and most of the other nearby countries, and annihilate them. This meant everyone from the king down to the puppy dogs in the streets. Just destroy all! But, of course, Saul was now king. And as he traveled out on his journey, he began to calculate with his newly expanded mind and looked deeply at his situation. He’d gotten some of Israel’s finest coming with him to battle and they were going to have a potential store of sheep and cattle that could be good payment for the men. Now, of course, the men were going to get all of the dry goods from the battle, but then Saul thought, “Why stop at that? Why not really impress God by bringing God back a gift. Let’s take the best of the cattle back alive. I mean, only the pristine ones. We’ll bring them back into the tabernacle of God and sacrifice unto Him and show how smart we are! Wow, will this impress God and not to mention, put me in favor with Samuel and all of the other high priests of Israel because they will benefit from all of the sacrificing and will bring the meat home to their own houses.” The ensuing battle was very easy for Saul and his men, and soon a large part of the population was devastated. The men began gathering the sheep. When Saul came to the king’s palace, he suddenly had another “bright” idea. “Let’s preserve the king! Since we are preserving a gift for God, let’s preserve a gift for me. I’m sure God won’t mind this little addition,” Saul thought, “The more I am glorified, the more the God of Israel is glorified.”

When Saul got back to Israel, Samuel saw right through the charade. He did not obey the simple command of God, but instead had to add to it, edit it, manipulate it and bring it into his own purposes. Samuel immediately called Saul on it and quoted the famous ancient phrase, “When you were little in your own eyes, I made you king. But now that you have become prideful, you have rebelled against God. Obedience is better than sacrifice.” Now came the ensuing action from God that throws most leaders off. God didn’t rip the kingdom immediately away from King Saul. Instead, Saul kept ruling for the next 38 years. So, although Saul knew that the kingdom was no longer his technically, he continued carrying around this monstrous ego for more than 30 years because for him, nothing had changed. But of course, when he died, everything was lost. I have watched, in life, as very close friends of mine have been promoted in business, in the church, and in the political realm. It’s amazing how the story of King Saul is repeated again and again because these people feel that when God promotes you, He also promotes your ego. And instead of stopping and humbling themselves at the wall of humility, they instead become more brazen and arrogant, thinking that nothing has changed.

Last year, I went through this process and I am also currently going through the process…. again and again. It is an issue of making a choice, a simple choice: Obedience, or your own wisdom? The first time that I ever realized that I was being promoted and at the same time facing the wall of humility happened to me one year ago at the South by Southwest Film Festival in Austin, TX. Michael Jacobs had shot a documentary film on me and was debuting it to a host of reporters and an audience of film buffs. It was my first time to see the documentary in front of a hostile audience. (I’d seen it once earlier with my family, who were totally benevolent.) As the audience watched me make mistakes and viewed other things taken out of context, I heard their laughter and guffaws. This happened especially during a little part of the film that left out a big chunk of truth. The filmmaker said that I was going to Las Vegas to view the latest film equipment, which was true, but he did not say that the latest equipment we were viewing was a camera that we had developed with a company called Vision Research. The camera was called the Phantom 65. It was the reason we were at the show and it won awards at the show and really garnered a lot of attention from the filmmaking community. But this fact was not shown in the documentary. Instead, I was shown wandering around the floors of Las Vegas like a man looking for a lost treasure and the audience got a big kick out of laughing at that. The subtext being, “What was I, a little nobody from San Francisco doing at this grandiose show in Las Vegas hanging around the truly serious filmmakers?”

When Michael was asked why he didn’t put anything about our camera in the film, his honest reply was, “It would have confused the audience because it would have given Richard credibility, like he really did know what he was doing and I was editing the film as being about a pastor who didn’t know what he was doing, but was trying to make this great film.” To say this, in other words, would be that the jokes about me would not have been as funny if they knew that we really had been working on an award-winning camera. I need to make this clear right now; in no way am I saying this to be derogatory or defensive about the film. The documentary film sequence of my life is over with now. Thousands of articles have already been written, and I feel it is safe for me, spiritually, to give you an insight on how I dealt with this period of my life on a personal and spiritual level.

Back to the South by Southwest Film Festival. When the film with the Las Vegas sequence was finished rolling, Michael Jacobs invited me, and my family, to the stage. The audience literally let out an audible gasp that we were even there at the festival to view the film. You could see instantly that most of them were thinking, “How could they face the ridicule?” I must tell you, the walk from the back of the theater to the front of the theater through a line of standing reporters and photographers was one of the longest walks I’ve taken in my life. I needed to quickly make a decision. Was I going to go on that stage and talk about all of the technologies that we had been developing, and explain that this film didn’t even mention one of them? Was I going to defend myself by showing or talking about the Phantom 65 camera, and how it could affect the film industry? Or was I going to humble myself and crawl under the wall of humility and accept the fact that God had promoted me to a new level of attention, but at the same time, He had given me a choice of humility? Now, I must tell you that I am a very proud and stubborn person by nature. My position in life, just like King Saul’s early position in life, had put me in a position to not have very much to be proud of, so what someone may perceive as humility for me is the perception of reality. But now, in Austin, TX, I actually did have something to be proud of. This was our technological development and I had to make a choice to let it go or pick it up.

The first question came from a reporter who said, “How did you feel watching yourself and your family on this film go through all of those struggles?” Now was my big moment. What was I going to say? I could respond, “That film was a lie! I’m actually a good guy, and look at what we’ve done. You can see it on…” Yep, that’s what I could have said. But I’ll tell you what actually happened. When I stood on the stage and looked out over that audience, I felt the heat from my reddened, embarrassed face and I realized that I was not my own. I was bought with a price and Jesus Christ was my Lord and my Master. And if He asked me to do this, then who was I to question? I am just a servant. So I responded to the question, “You know, I wish all of you out there would think that I am an intelligent man. I would like you to think that I am just as normal as you and just as smart as you. But the way I felt watching this documentary was like watching myself at my most private time going to the bathroom. It was something that was very personal. All I can say is that I heard the call of God and He asked me to take on this fantastic task of making a movie for Him. Yes, it’s beyond my capabilities. Yes, I am not worthy. But what do I do with this burning dream in my heart, this voice of God that is within me? Do I ignore it and act like it never occurred and go ahead and live a mediocre life or do I heed this voice and take the challenge and join the adventure? For me, the choice was very easy. I want to live in the adventure and be a filmmaker for God.”

For the remaining time of the Question and Answer session, my family and I mostly handled questions like, “How do you know when you hear the voice of God?” These questions continued to follow us at almost every film festival the documentary was shown. Now, at this point in my life, I can look back and see God’s purpose. The documentary was not about me, or our film company. Instead, it was about God and how you respond when you hear His voice.

When most people are promoted, the thing they relish is the new provision of power. I hope that when I am promoted I will relish the new position to influence people to observe and accept the wonders of God’s power.

Richard Gazowsky pastors a church in San Francisco called The Voice of Pentecost, and is also president of Christian WYSIWYG Filmworks. He has directed the films, “Guardians” and “The Roman Trilogy.”